Well I guess when you add another year of crickets, an opportunity to either advocate for or warn against your adoption professional, and pent up frustration at your adoption professional it leads to perfect storm of word vomit that I directed at our adoption coordinator.
She had only reached out with our monthly status update which contained nothing new (expect of course the reminder of updating our home study). They always ask for us to respond so I did (probably not exactly what she was expecting). You will find some excerpts of my diatribe below:
Everything you have noted on our 21st status sheet continues to be accurate.
As you may have seen in our information I am a school principal. When we became active with Land of the Crickets Adoption (not their real name but it should be!) in September 2014, I made my staff aware that we were an actively waiting adoptive family so they would not be surprised in the event that a baby joined our midst sans baby bump or notice.
A teacher new to my staff this year approached me today to let me know that she and her husband were pursuing adoption. The way she addressed it let me know that other teachers on her grade level team had shared with her that we too were pursuing adoption, so I let her know that she could come to me with any questions she had on the subject. I also asked her what adoption professional they were utilizing and she responded, "Land of the Crickets Adoption. They are out of Siberia (not really, but they might as well be!)."
I'm not going to lie, my heart dropped. I wanted to give her a big, warm smile and say "That is fantastic! You could not have selected a better option.", but I couldn't. Below you will find what I did share with her and the rationale behind it:
I shared with her we selected Land of the Crickets Adoption because I noted several of the positive reasons we selected them.
I also shared that the coordinators we have worked with are great. I explained they are very responsive and provide a great deal of guidance in helping you set up your profile, video, etc. and prepare for the adoption process through webinars and resources.
On the flip side I shared with her that we know two other local couples working with Land of the Crickets Adoption who have also been waiting for nearly 2 years or longer.
I also shared with her that over the last 6 months I have been actively observing our region on the Land of the Crickets Adoption website to celebrate for the families whom I see have been matched or have adopted and during that 6 month period have been able to celebrate only one couple in our home state (out of the nearly 20) who have been waiting during that time frame.
Beyond what the reasons I shared with my teacher, my response also stems from the following. We recognize that the timing of adoption is in God's hands. However, adoption is not a connection that most people can make themselves. So we have paid nearly a bazillion dollars (or tat least it feels like it) that is nonrefundable to your organization to aid in that process. We personally know two couples who have done the same. Additionally, through the Land of the Crickets Adoption Website I am aware of a number of other couples within our state who have done the same.
As you may be aware, the most recent data provided by Adoptive Families denotes that 75% of waiting families are matched in less than 18 months. This data is very similar to the data collected in the preceding years. To know that we are apart of the "unlucky" 25% is disheartening. To know there are multiple couples from our home state in the same position with the same adoption professional is heartbreaking.
Today's experience with my teacher is one of two opportunities I have had in the last 6 weeks to serve as a possible advocate for Land of the Crickets Adoption. In both circumstances couples from our state who had spent years coping with infertility were looking for hope in adoption. In both circumstances I encouraged their choice to adopt. In both circumstances I touted the positives of our experience with Land of the Crickets as noted above. However, in both circumstances I advised them to continue "shopping" for an adoption professional.
With today being the second such opportunity, I wanted to provide you a chance to reshape my thinking if you feel there is anything I have noted that is inaccurate.
It felt good to get my feelings off my chest. It felt good to share directly with the source of my frustration. Even though we are exploring other means of starting our family, it does not change the fact that we still wish to adopt. I am expecting one of two responses. Either it will be very vague and remind us that they are continuing to pray for us OR it will provide some insight as to what is really going on. While I am hoping to receive the latter, I bet you a million bucks it will be the former:(,
I think it's good that you let your agency know some of your frustrations. Although, as you said, you are pursuing other options as well to grow your family, that is a lot of time and resources spent for a wait that long. Sending prayers that you will get some kind of satisfying answers son! And yay for summer break! :)
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