Sunday, September 28, 2014

Hurry Up and Wait

Our "2nd Trimester" began September 12, 2014.  The "to do" list was complete... or was it?  What is a planning junkie to do when entering uncharted territory of the unknown?  Well, she turns to google of course:).  Believe it or not a few quick keyword searches will yield a list of things to do while a couple waits to adopt.  Here is what I came up with:

 Ø Seek support from other people adopting either through local support groups or online
Ø  Take a class in newborn care.
Ø  Take an infant/child CPR & First Aid class.
Ø  Read about open adoption, parenting and general infant/child care.
Ø  Talk to your employer and start planning for time away from the office if necessary.
Ø  Research and select baby furniture 
Ø  Research car seats and strollers, with an eye towards a purchase.
Ø  If you have purchased a car seat already, learn how to install it, then get it checked by a car seat specialist (call your local police department for assistance).
Ø  Research and select a pediatrician.
Ø  Research online teaching and/or other from home or part time positions
Ø  Update our driver’s licenses with correct address
Ø  Select names for each gender 
Ø  Discuss and research discipline styles/techniques.
Ø  Research and select a childcare provider 
Ø  Research new parenting techniques i.e., baby massage, using sign language, etc.
Ø  Make some reheatable quick meals and store in the freezer.
Ø  Research baby announcements. Do-it-yourself or order?
Ø  Start a life book of your adoption journey for your child.
Ø  Discuss and make decisions about new wills, life insurance and a guardian for your child.
Ø  Research and request forms to add your new baby to your health insurance plan.
Ø  Research any parental/family leave policies with your employer.
Ø  Research and decide about adoptive breastfeeding.
Ø  Research and decide about cord blood banking.
Ø  Discuss what type of new baby/welcome home celebration you want to have.
Ø  Research and learn how to prevent SIDS.
Ø  Prepare a first aid kit specifically for children 
Ø  Create a packing list and pack what is possible ahead of time.
Ø  Tidy up your closets and storage space.
Ø  Prepare the nursery.
Ø  Start a journal or blog about your adoption journey. 
ØPut your finances in order including a plan how to pay for college for your child
ØTalk with your friends and family about adoption
ØMake your home child safe
ØKnit or sew a baby blanket
ØGet in shape
ØWrite your parents a thank you letter
ØLearn how to take decent pictures, especially of children
ØGet information on local kid friendly activities
ØRejuvenate & Recharge

So by the end of September we had a new set of tasks to complete; however this time the deadline was unknown.


Sunday, September 14, 2014

The First "Trimester"--May 16, 2014 to September 12, 2014

I am a weird combination of Type A and B personalities.  I have the capability of "going with the flow"; however, I love setting up a plan complete with charts, notebooks, visual aids...the works.  As a result, the first "trimester" of our adoption process was right up my alley.  There were books to read, questions to seek answers to, things to research...but more importantly there was something tangible I could do!  For the previous 3.5 years we had done everything we knew to do to grow our little family, and, while it was lots of fun:) I was energized with a new set of "to dos".   As a part of my research I found a great article that helped us see the phases of adoption paralleled to the trimesters of a pregnancy.  For most couples the first trimester lasts three months, and we weren't too far behind that with four.

We worked on all of the logistics (picking an agency, home study, etc.).  Which doesn't sound very exciting, but it was nice to actually have something to do on the trying-to-become parents front that we hadn't already tried to do before.

We also used this time to turn our guest room into a nursery.  Depending upon how we are matched, it may be a call in the middle of the night or 6 months in advance.  Either way I wanted the opportunity to experience the excitement of preparing a room for our child without pressure or stress, so we put it together during my summer break.

Adoption in the 21st century is focused on openness between birth parents and adoptive parents and providing expectant parents with avenues for choosing adoptive parents that they feel will be the best match for their child.  To that end our next steps were developing a profile, website and video that helped expectant parents get to know who we are and provide avenues to reach out to us:

Lifetime Adoption Website

We also found a second smaller site to post this information:


The process of putting everything together was a huge undertaking, but I really enjoyed it because we were actively doing something to move one step closer to our child...wherever he or she (or they!) may be.

Now we wait (hold on, isn't that what we have already been doing?!)...oh, that's right, this time it's official!