Land of Crickets

So Land of Crickets Adoption finally responded to my email. I assumed correctly that it would be vague, I was incorrect about the praying for us-she went for preachy instead.

Here are some of the best gems:

1. "I think it would be a positive thing to know other families that are working with Land of Crickets so you could uplift one another."

2. "Remember, stressful or anxious feelings are normal as you travel down the adoption road. What you choose to do with these feelings is completely under your control."

3. "Adoption is about faith and timing, but it is also about doing what you can to make yourself an active participant in your own adoption journey."

We agreed with gem #1...for the first 12-16 months, but guess what? When nothing happens for anyone we continue to uplift one another and turn our frustration to the root cause who doesn't seem to be doing much for anyone!

In regard to #2 & #3, I am in 100% agreement that my feelings and my actions are my choice and are the only things within my locus of control. That being said, the only specifics Land of Crickets has ever offered in regard to outreach is that they network with over 200 websites which provide expectant mothers interested in placing their child for adoption with Lifetime's contact information. There have also been vague references to other outreach avenues, but even when pressed in webinars for what the other means of outreach are they are not directly addressed. So I am taking responsibility for my feelings and actions, but have begun to question theirs.

J.T. and our friends who are with Land of Crickets have long since given up any real sense of hope that they will fulfill their end of the bargain. Even though I know this process has been interminable I always assumed we would complete an adoption with Land of Crickets, though a sentence towards the end of the email has now led me think otherwise as :

As long as you are partnering with us and doing everything that we ask and provided that you have not added to your family during that time, I can continue to request extensions to your contract.

Land of Crickets does allow a freeze to your status in the event of pregnancy. In the event we do become pregnant next month we intended to take advantage of said freeze and then assumed we would be a candidate for the extension because we have done everything they have requested of us to this point. However, if an addition to your family is now a reason which they use to get out of contract extension then, in the event we have a baby, it seems we would be denied the extension. In which case they will need to watch out as I do NOT intend to go quietly off into the night, since not fulfilling a contract (though never guaranteed, but heavily hinted would result in an adoption if we followed their "plan") and then punishing families who are able to add to their family using other means during the nearly 2 years of waiting is bulls*&!.

In addition to my lingering thoughts on the email, still lingering is renewing our home study. On the one hand, should we update everything on schedule and get pregnant-we will have spent money unnecessarily since we would go on freeze for almost a year (or be knocked out of the game entirely). On the other hand, in the event the IVF does not go as planned, we can spend $200 more dollars to have an expedited home study completed in two weeks which still gives us time to have it completed by the one year deadline. Typing this out helps make "the other hand" seem like the better option, so all of my ranting has led to at least on productive nugget today:).

The bottom line is my frustration with Land of Crickets has not been resolved, but I need to put it to rest for now. I responded to her email succinctly thanking her for responding and telling her have a nice weekend then promptly filed it away out of my inbox. I will let JT. know about the response if he asks. I will also share the exchange with our friends the next time we see them. Otherwise, I am letting it go, to the best of my ability, and giving it God for now.