The Club

For the first year of our journey, the only people who knew we were trying to conceive were my mom, my brother and a very close friend.  To my knowledge I had only one friend who had any struggle with getting pregnant .  Only 1 needed Clomid and after taking it for a few months was pregnant.  Everyone else I knew, friends and family, were able to get pregnant simply because they wanted to (or in some cases by accident).  I felt alone and during this time reached for empathy from message boards and blogs.  Knowing there were others in our shoes was helpful, but for me was not the same as knowing someone in our shoes.

As we began to explore the world of diagnostics and treatment I began to open up more with people at work.  There I discovered were men and women who had previously walked or had recently walked in our shoes.  These fellow educators were no stranger to IUI, IVF, drugs and other aspects of IF that those in mine inner circle were happy to listen to me drone on about, but didn't "get it".  The role I play at work is supervisory and while I get along well with these fellow educators I hesitated to 100% accept their invitations to talk whenever I needed to in the name of professionalism.  Additionally, all of these men and women were "on the other side" and had one or more children to call their own.

At about this same time, we decided to find a church and through church joined a small community group.  As I am sure God had planned, our group included a couple struggling with IF.  Their struggles are in a different vein in that they have experienced multiple miscarriages, but for the first time I was able to commiserate with a fellow IFer in person, over wine, whenever I needed.

Over the last year I have come to discover a few more friends who are walking their own IF journey.  I generally think of clubs as organizations people choose to join, but for some reason or another the words "Welcome to the club" comes to mind.  While this is not a club I ever would joined of my own volition I can say with certainty that I have discovered the following about the members of my local chapter:

• They are tough as nails.  Even through their tears, there's a sense of hope and perseverance.
• They are always willing to lend a listening ear and to share their perspective.
• They are willing to answer any questions if it helps another on their path.

I am glad to have them in my life.  This stage of life would have been much bleaker without the club.