Fear of the Unknown...

As mentioned once or twice I am a reform(ing) type A, control freak, plan-a-holic.  It was my attempt to have some feeling of order in a scary world of chaos.  Without a plan, it seemed like I would end up in a place I didn't want to be without a lot of options and I was trying to avoid that scenario like the plague.  If I didn't know what I wanted to do next, and then next, and then next, then I would begin to panic, would become fearful of the unknown that laid ahead, and would feel compelled to figure out a plan which in turn would make me anxious if parts of the plan could not be solidified right that moment.

Well since, it turns out even with a plan you can end up in a place you didn't want to be without a lot of (easy) solutions, that theory has been shot to hell.  So I can look at the future in one of two ways:  I can continue to fall into the habit of becoming panicked and scared or I can try on a new perspective.  The first option doesn't seem very appealing-been there done that, didn't serve me very well in the end, so let's see what's behind door number 2.

It's an interesting crossroads for us as a family and for me professionally.  J.T. is still working through whether he would like us to pursue donor eggs or embryo adoption, while at the same time we remain an active waiting family for domestic infant adoption.  I have been accepted into a doctoral program and have begun to consider and apply for some Graduate Assistant (GA) Positions. Each of these branches plays a significant role in our finances.  By the end of 2016 any number of scenarios may exist without major changes or additional effort on our part:

• We could be expecting (or actual) parents to one (or more than once) child to which there is some form or absolutely no genetic connection (or maybe God has a miracle up his sleeve and it is fully genetically tied to each of us).
• I could be a full time student and a full time principal; or I could decide after taking classes this summer that I can only handle being a part time student and a full time principal; I could be a full time student and a GA; a full time student, a GA and a tutor/babysitter/some other part time gig 
• We could have increased our nest egg, it could be about the same as it is now or we could be starting over again with a Dave Ramsey bare bones savings scenario 
• I could have run that 10k and half marathon I have been talking about or I could be starting over again with Couch to 5k for the umpteenth time.
• I certainly hope none of these come into play, but...J.T. or I could lose our job, one of us or a family member could have a significant health concern or crisis and everything else goes on the back burner, Trump could win the presidency. and we would have to be making our plans to move to London (only partially kidding on that one!).

The bottom line is our life could be almost identical to what it looks like today (which I would be content with) or it could look totally and completely different!  So that brings us to door number 2...