Be Still

So it has taken years, but I am kind of getting the hang of the whole Be Still and Know that I am God (Psalm 46:10) thing.

Surprisingly being still is not nearly as easy as it sounds and for a trying-to be-reformed controlling "go getter" it feels like I am doing something wrong.

I wonder if God meant "work 9-10 hours a day, come home surf the internet/watch Netflix/read, think about running, make dinner, talk to your husband, go to bed Monday-Friday and on the weekends try to have some fun and get your chores done".

I am trying hard not to obsess about plan too far into the future so with the ultra exciting activities (see above) with which I fill my days, it feels so...weird.

My brain is used to moving 100mph and without all the stress, worry, and frenetic planning, it feels...empty.

I suppose empty isn't the right word as I am assuming the reason for the space is to be filled with God and the Holy Spirit, but while I feel content more often than not recently, there are times like this afternoon when I feel...nothing.

So after stepping away from this post and doing some thinking I realized that this is not related to being still, rather it is related to my stupid, worthless cycle.  It's PMS--blah!