Happy No Diet Day!

Who even knew this was a thing?!?  I am certainly celebrating and have been for the last few months now. 

 For the last two years, when signs of spring began to appear late February/early March (you gotta love living in the South!) I felt this wonderful intrinsic motivation to run.  In 2013 that resulted in regularly running up to 3 miles.  Then in 2014 I started regularly running up to 5 miles.  

So for 2015 I set a goal of running 300 miles for the year.  Total number of miles to date:  2.

Now keep in mind this time that was once spent running, has been replaced with sitting on my butt and snacking when I get home from school.  Not exactly a winning combination.  

For the first few weeks of my new "workout routine" there wasn't much of change, but now I am definitely seeing the fat that replaced the muscle and there seems to be more of me:(.  The thing is I TOTALLY know all the right things to do, and have proven to myself I can do them.  But you want to know something?---I don't wanna!  

After reflecting on this for the last few days, I think I know the cause.  I am stress eating and when I stress eat, not exercising seems to come hand in hand for some reason.  I am stress eating because I have hit another mental hurdle in the (seemingly never ever journey) to start a family.  I wish I could learn what my triggers are, but I just don't know.  

What I do know is that, come August, five years will have passed since we decided that we were ready to become parents.  What I do know is that in those five years I have watched friends and colleagues have not just one, but in many cases two babies while our nursery remains empty.  What I do know is that I feel deep down in my heart that God will bless us with a child, but what I don't know is when.  

I so desperately want this to by my prayer, but these physical signs of stress that keep popping up (not sleeping well in the fall, hives in the winter, and now this) are clear indicators that I am anxious and therefore lacking in complete trust.  Honestly, I'm not sure how...