Unexpected Blessings

I joined a One and Done:  Not By Choice Facebook group earlier this summer.  I'm going to be honest--for the most part it is relatively depressing.  Most of the posts are from individuals who seem to be going through secondary infertility and as a result many of their (very justified!) laments remind me of my days on infertility message boards once upon a time.  There are however several very positive reasons I stay.

First, these women have children of all ages and have opened my eyes to only child experiences I likely would not have considered.  For instance if your family of three goes on a vacation you may consider bringing along a friend otherwise you the parents may become pretty haggard from serving as playmate for days on end.  Also, (even though I was probably guilty of it myself) I failed to realize how often being an only child is brought up by teachers and other caregivers as a reason behind (mostly negative) behaviors.

There is also one unexpected, but amazing blessing I have gotten from this group and it is this:

Given that many of these women have experienced secondary infertility they have spent years of their only child's young life focused on providing a sibling for that child.  They of course loved their child and gave them as much of their attention as they could, BUT given what I know the absolute mindf*&% (sorry there is no other word that comes to mind) infertility of any kind can be I could very easily see how distracted one could be during this time even with their most precious loved one.

Also, these poor, unsuspecting women acknowledge assuming they would have more than one opportunity to experience babyhood, toddlerhood, starting school, and the like and openly acknowledge their regret for not savoring these moments as they could have if they knew they would only get one shot.

When my sweet girl calls me mama using her still small voice--I know.

When she wakes up early from a nap and I get to hold her while she continues to sleep--I know.

When she hits a new milestone--I know.

When she goes to preschool--I know.

And the list goes on and on.  I know.  And what a blessing that is.