Melt Downs for Everyone!

You get a meltdown! And you get a meltdown!  And you get a meltdown!  Ugh, this is such a sad place these days.

Isabella's emotions are strong, but her buddy A.J. (as long as he gets hugs and preferred food) is generally pretty stable. Well actually, he has his days too.  BUT to this point they have been kind to me and have TAKEN TURNS with their bad days/weeks.  Nope, not this week.  They are both pissed on the regular and don't seem to care who knows it.

What's super fun is when they cry our younger dog Aiden cries too, so (too many!) times this week they have been a wailing trio:(.   I have said it before and I will say it again, toddler teachers at day cares and preschools must be saints because I can not IMAGINE what this would be like times like 6!

My latest read has been the The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.  The section I found most fascinating explained:

Imagine that your brain is a house, with both a downstairs and an upstairs. The downstairs brain includes the brain stem and the limbic region, which are located in the lower parts of the brain, from the top of your neck to about the bridge of your nose. Scientists talk about these lower areas as being more primitive because they are responsible for basic functions (like breathing and blinking), for innate reactions and impulses (like fight and flight), and for strong emotions (like anger and fear).

Your upstairs brain is completely different. It’s made up of the cerebral cortex and its various parts—particularly the ones directly behind your forehead, including what’s called the middle prefrontal cortex. Unlike your more basic downstairs brain, the upstairs brain is more evolved and can give you a fuller perspective on your world.  This is where more intricate mental processes take place, like thinking, imagining, and planning.

Whereas the downstairs brain is primitive, the upstairs brain is highly sophisticated, controlling some of your most important higher-order and analytical thinking. Because of its sophistication and complexity, it is responsible for producing many of the characteristics we hope to see in our kids:  Sound decision making and planning  Control over emotions and body  Self-understanding  Empathy  Morality

Just imagine the downstairs of a house that is complete and fully furnished, but when you look up at the second floor, you see that it is unfinished and littered with construction tools. You can even see patches of the sky where the roof hasn’t been completed yet. That’s your child’s upstairs brain—a work in progress.

The problem, though, is that especially in children, the amygdala frequently fires up and blocks the stairway connecting the upstairs and downstairs brain. It’s as if a baby gate has been latched at the bottom of the stairs, making the upstairs brain inaccessible. This of course further compounds the other problem we just discussed: not only is the upstairs brain under construction, but even the part of it that can function becomes inaccessible during moments of high emotion or stress.


Think about what this information means, practically, as we raise kids who don’t have constant access to their upstairs brain. It’s unrealistic to expect them always to be rational, regulate their emotions, make good decisions, think before acting, and be empathetic—all of the things a developed upstairs brain helps them do.

That all makes PERFECT SENSE!  BUT while it's helpful to understand WHY they are acting this way HOW do I stop it from busting my ear drum?!?!  They did provide 5 different strategies that, over time, will help.  Just hoping we all live long enough to find out:/...