The Spirited Child

Yet another book I wish had existed earlier in my teaching career.  Fortunately it came out in time to help with my own kiddo:).

Between teaching school aged students and now spending my days with littles, I have read a lot of books relating to childhood behavior.  This book helped me close the gap in my knowledge between your average by the book child and a child with diagnosable needs.  In a nutshell:

Each spirited child is unique, yet there exist distinct characteristics in which more is very apparent. Not every spirited child will possess all of the following five characteristics, but each will exhibit enough of them to make her stand out in the crowd.

These are the ones that speak most to my sweet (and at times spicy/salty) girl:

1. INTENSITY: The loud, dramatic spirited children are the easiest to spot. They don’t cry; they shriek. They’re noisy when they play, when they laugh, and even when they take a shower, singing at the top of their lungs while the hot-water tank empties. No matter where their intensity is focused, the reactions of spirited children are always powerful. There is rarely a middle of the road. They never whimper; they wail. They can skip into a room, smiling and laughing, only to depart thirty seconds later inflamed. Their tantrums are raw and enduring.  Check!
2. PERSISTENCE: If an idea or an activity is important to them, spirited children can “lock” right in. They are committed to their task, goal-oriented, and are unwilling to give up. Getting them to change their minds is a major undertaking. They love to debate and are not afraid to assert themselves.  Yup!
3. PERCEPTIVENESS: Send them to their room to get dressed and they’ll never make it. Something along the way—perhaps a flash of light at the window—will catch their attention as they walk by, and they’ll forget about getting dressed. It can take ten minutes to get them from the house to the car. They notice everything—the latest oil spill, the white feather in the bird’s nest, and the dew in the spiderweb. They are often accused of not listening.  For sure!

Many, but not all, possess four additional “bonus” characteristics: aspects of their personality that can make being their parent even more challenging.  

Fortunately Isabella only possesses one of these, but it is a doozy:

ENERGY: The tales of spirited kids I hear from parents are truly amazing, like that of the two-week-old baby who “crawled” the entire length of a queen-size bed and was about to land on the floor when his father found him. Or the toddler who opened the oven door and used it to crawl onto the counter and from there to the top of the refrigerator.  Not all spirited kids are climbers and leapers. But they do tend to be busy—fidgeting, taking things apart, exploring, and creating projects—from the time they wake up until they finally fall asleep. Although sometimes viewed as “wild,” their energy is usually focused and has a purpose.  We have many pictures/videos to prove it!

The good news for us was that Isabella tends to flutter on the low end of the spirited scale (just a notch above just a spunky, sassy little thing), but it has been beyond helpful to understand a little more fully who we are potentially dealing with.  She is for sure very young, but these components of who she is have been in place almost since day one.  The likelihood of her "growing out of them" are not the best, so I guess it's better to be over-prepared than underprepared.