For three decades I have very deliberately planned next steps and put all of my time, energy, and mental capacity into these plans and bringing them to fruition. I have two items left on my doctoral to-do list (having a dissertation formatting meeting with the grad school and submitting it to ProQuest for publishing). Once those are done I am officially completed with this milestone.
Technically speaking I have not been employed since June of 2017. While I can say I have been self-employed as a caregiver and have been a student, those things are not the same as holding a job in my mind. Prior to June of 2017 I had been continuously employed for 26 years. None of those jobs have ever been a traditional 9-5, but for each of them I had to apply, interview and report to some version of a supervisor. At first my new "work" status after Isabella was born was disconcerting and I struggled. Part of the struggle was being the primary parent to a challenging baby on top of being self employed as a caregiver and student, but in hindsight I think part of the struggle came from being completely on my own. There is freedom in that for sure, but with great freedom comes great responsibility. That responsibility was the most overwhelming I had experienced to date.
Over the last year; however, I feel I have hit my stride to some extent. I have shown I am self-motivated and self-directed. Also, with God's guidance, I have increasingly tried to look at "the big picture" attempting to make decisions based on values of peace and contentment rather than ambition and success. It is a blessing and by God's grace alone that I am in a position to re-enter the workforce in a manner that helps provide homeostasis for myself and my family.
That said it is also a daunting task as there is not a clear cut next step. I am seeking God's guidance to start down a brand new professional path that allows me to use my skills and education in a way that brings glory to God while at the same time provides an income that gradually increases to match the output of education and money spent on said education AND allows there to continued to be peace in my relationships and home. No SMALL FEAT for sure, but with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. So let's see where I'm at and where I need to go from here.
My child care business is not where I envisioned it going, but it has evolved into what works best for myself and my family. I am paid to be able to consistently provide a playmate for my only child while at the same time provide stability and routine to a little guy who needs it, but doesn't always have it outside of my care. It is my hope to continue to provide AJ care and, with his parents blessing of course, to include him in any supplemental care I may need for Isabella along with the way. However, with this evolution has come a decrease in financial contribution. This will continue to be the case as the amount of preschool the kids attend (and/or the amount of supplemental care) increases. As a result, I don't think it is fair to say I am a childcare provider any longer (except of course for tax purposes and to explain why I have two kids 40 hours a week:).
When I began this doctoral journey I think my concrete goal aligned with my prior experience. I would graduate and at some point depending on the needs of my child obtain a tenure track position at a university. Well a couple of things have changed along the way. First, I have learned that the road to tenure, much like the work in K-5 education, is stacked against the employee. The expectations are too high, the work load is unreasonable and the potential to balance work and life beyond work well is bleak. It also requires flexibility of location which at this point I have none. As a result, tenure track is something that I may pursue when Isabella is (much) older or J.T. finds himself in a season of life where he could be a traveling spouse, but for the foreseeable future is not a viable option.
All of that said, I now have a doctorate and to ensure my time and our money has not been wasted I need to find a way to put it to good use.
As a result, I need a plan B. I still would like to teach college. Since I am not interested in tenure track at the moment adjunct work seems to be the best option at this point. That said, I am graduating in August so while I will do my best at this late stage the likelihood of obtaining a position for the fall is bleak. However, it will not stop me from trying so the step one is to develop a game plan for applying for current and future openings.
Another idea began to percolate over the last year. While my dissertation is not my pride and joy by a long shot, I set a timeline, developed a game plan and completed a passable work with virtually no oversight (or guidance unfortunately). Therefore, it is possible that writing (and maybe even providing PD based upon the books I theoretically write) may be another possible option I had not ever previously considered.
SO the question on every one's mind (well maybe not everyone's mind, but MY mind) is:
Where do I begin?!?!
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