Screen Time Shame

No screen time until age 2 they said. 

Sounded simple enough. 

LOL for days.

Screen time began up in here over a year ago with my buddy H--the baby that wouldn't nap.  The kiddo that only last two weeks before deciding a better setting would be best.  Well somewhere in that two weeks I discovered (I honestly don't remember how now, maybe his mom suggested it?) that cartoons would keep him from melting down when he was super tired but wouldn't sleep. 

The educator and researcher in me judged harshly.  The new mother, full time student and new child care provider to three infants said "yep, sounds good!". 

So Mother Goose Club entered our world.   I rationalized that songs were good for babies.  Nursery rhymes are good for language development.  So what if brightly colored costumes and cartoons are the source of delivery?!?    H left, but then the three year old joined our midst a few mornings a week and he was an ardent fan of this cartoon Masha and the Bear so we gave that a go.

Isabella and A paid virtually no attention to the TV until one day last winter they did.  Not a lot at first, but there was this show Word Party that in particular grabbed Isabella's attention and what can I say?  If I needed to shower...make dinner...have 13 minutes of a mental break...enter Word Party.

One of the babysitters in the spring introduced Isabella to Bubble Guppies during one of the hour long crying fits after I would leave for class and it was raining so a walk was a no go.  The girl has been hooked ever since, and her partner in crime has since become a junkie too.

So far neither of them request TV, BUT I suspect that will come as their language skills improve.  So for now it provides me the opportunity to shower, clean up after lunch, transition after naps, get dinner ready, and clean up after dinner.  When the weather is nice I can trade some of these in to playing on the screened in porch time, but now that winter is coming I see that becoming more difficult.  Each of these opportunities affords me 23 minutes of getting stuff done without whining, fussing, clinging or having to referee toddle disputes. 

If only I could get my conscious on board as the educator/researcher continues to judge and gives me the side eye every. dang. time.

An academic mom Facebook group I'm on were discussing a new book that provided contemporary research on screen time, so I thought I'd give it a shot.  Desperate to assuage my teacher-mommy guilt...

It was good and provided perspective that screens are not, in fact, the devil incarnate.  But, alas, it still gave a hard no to kids under two and tv.  The good news is we are well below the average screen time for preschoolers.  The bad news is they're not supposed to be watching it at all sooooo....

Real Life Mom:  1
Teacher mom:  0

Sensory Diet

Isabella had her 18 month appointment today.  She continues to be a healthy and thriving kiddo.  She is 90th percentile for height and 80th for weight so the girl continues to hold her own with her 99th percentile counterpart Aj:).  It has become more interesting keeping her busy while we wait for the doctor.  Got an idea from pinterest to give her stickers to put on the paper they have on the examination table and it killed 5-10 minutes so we will count it as a win.

Got a clean bill of health though the poor kid has come to understand shots and understandably had a meltdown when the nurse came in, but alls well that ends well.

I went in with two questions and came out with no real answers, so that part was less great.  I asked for additional tips for separation anxiety and was told it sounded like we were doing the right things, don't add new experiences for me to go just to get her used to it, and time will help.  Cool.  I will tell the babysitters who have to listen to her cry when we do have things to do and can't bring her.  I'm sure they will be thrilled.

The other questions has to do with her "swimming".  It's this weird thing she does where she lays on her tummy, usually on a hard surface, and rubs her elbows into her sides like she's doing some kind of slow frog kick thing.  We've been in communication with the doctor about it since July and continue to not know the cause.  The doctor explained that the absence of other symptoms pretty much rules out a gastrointestinal issue.  Her thoughts were it may be sensory and to give a weighted blanket a shot.

Sensory?  Well that for sure sounds like my sensory seeking kid, so we will give that a shot.  In fact after I did some more reading decided to implement a sensory diet.  This essentially amounts to a few activities in the morning and late afternoon/evening to give her sensory outlets.  In her case after doing an informal assessment I found from an OT online she is partial to proprioception (perception or awareness of the position and movement of the body) and vestibular (movement-go, go go!). 

So for the morning I am going to try rocking (chair or horse) and trampoline.  For afternoon/evening slide and swing (thank goodness the neighborhood playground is right across the street!).  These seemed the most appropriate and manageable from the list I found.  Hoping it helps!

Thanksgiving Part 3

We are not the only family I know that participates in multiple Thanksgiving dinners, but I am so glad ours are spread out over the course of the month instead of trying to fit them all into the same day!

Today, we traveled about 1.5 hours to J.T.'s step-grandmother's (Mema) house for our third and final Thanksgiving meal.

Isabella was sweet and pleasant when we got there before her nap.  We ate the meal during her nap (yeah-one I could enjoy!).  When she got UP from her nap it was like she was a different kid.  She was one big fussy butt.  Mema has a huge back yard and it was sunny and warm enough to go outside so we spent some time playing with rocks and keeping Isabella from falling into the creek which she loved.  By about three we were worn out from keeping Isabella busy so we packed up and headed home.   Alls well that ends well- I suppose!

"Happy Thanksgiving!"  For realz this time!

Baptism

Until I met J.T. I had no idea that baptism was not something for babies.  I mean I guess if I gave it some thought I would have contended that as teenagers and adults came to embrace Christianity they would be baptized at a later time, but I always thought that if a baby was born into a Christian family he or she was baptized as an infant.  Enter my education on the Southern Baptist faith and the concept of being saved.

Now I had a friend in college who was Southern Baptist and it was either something we didn't discuss OR something I just failed to file away in my memory bank.  However, as J.T. and I discussed our future children (waaay back when) I discovered that when it came to baptism we saw things differently.  I wanted our child to be baptized as an infant and he wanted the child to choose for him/herself when this would take place like he did.

Fast forward to the actual birth of our child and the baptism conversation sat on a shelf--for quite awhile.  It wasn't until this past June that I felt convicted to officially join our church and have Isabella baptized (the second being contingent upon the first at our church).  I hoped J.T. would join with me and was thankful that he did.  We went through our church's membership classes and at the end baptism often comes up.  So here we were once again discussing the situation for which there is not a really good compromise (particularly once we found out our church believes baptism only takes place once in a person's life). 

However, after talking with one of the associate pastors we landed on baptizing Isabella now and then when she was older and fully understood accepting the Lord as her savior we would do a dedication ceremony which our church offers in these circumstances.

I also learned the reason people have their children baptized as infants and not toddlers:).  Isabella was as good as any 19 month old could be on a stage standing in front of a bunch of people "patiently" waiting her turn, but I was worn out by the time we were done from keeping her occupied.  That said, at the end of the day, the mission was successfully accomplished!

Thanksgivings Part 1 and 2

So much for which to be THANKFUL!  We traveled north to do my family's early-in-the-month Thanksgiving in the mountains.  J.T. couldn't go since he just started a new job and traveling after he got off work with a one year old was not wise.  My brother drove up with us and we had a successful trip (cold and rainy but successful in that we made it without incident!).

It was soooo cold up there and we even managed to see a dusting of snow.  It was tricky keeping Isabella quiet until a reasonable hour.  She goes to sleep and stays asleep just fine when we travel (thank you walk in closets!), but for some reason wakes up early.  We ventured out to McDonalds (I was hoping they had a play area, but no such luck) and watched Bubble Guppies to pass the time. 

This was the first year my nephew missed the trip.  He is a college freshman in ROTC so he could not get away.  Other than he and J.T. all other family members were present and accounted for.  We had a nice visit and I am always so impressed with how sweet my cousins kids are with Isabella.  They are all a lot older (14, 13, 10 and 8), but they make a point to play and talk to her which is so cute. 

Lots of games, good food, wine and laughs before we got back in the car on Sunday to head home. 

The only down side was my child's continued insistence in "stranger danger".  Getting a shower, eating a meal, etc. were all a bit trickier seeing as Daddy wasn't there and my kid doesn't seem to trust that anyone else is capable of taking care of her (insert eye roll), but we survived.  Here's a pic of Isabella and I eating Thanksgiving dinner. 

She was finished and I was not so there we sat.  She did eventually let my cousin play with her as she wandered about so that was helpful.  She also let my sister-in-law play with her some when I showered, but if she dared remembered that these women were not Mama she immediately panicked.  What is with this kid?!?!

When we got back on Sunday we were home for about an hour before we hopped back in the car for our second Thanksgiving dinner of the season.  Our church community group hosts Thanksgiving dinner each year and this happened to be the night.  I'm not one for turkey but my aunt always makes ham AND the hosting couple of community group makes fried turkey which is realllly good.  So between that side dishes and wine I will be lucky if I can button my pants tomorrow!

"Happy (early) Thanksgiving!"

I Never Asked to be my Child's Blankie

When she was tiny I tried every pacifier under the sun without luck.

I have attempted every lovey I could find.

I have tried stuffed animals.

I have tried baby dolls.

I have tried blankets.

While she loves each of these items to varying degrees and enjoys taking one or two to sleep with.  There has only been one thing that has proven time and time again to make my child feel secure.

Me.

On the one hand this is great.  It is awesome that my presence brings such security to my amazing little girl.  The problem is that my absence seems to bring the polar opposite.  She.is.a.mess.

She has had babysitters since she was 3 months old.   I have been taking classes since she was four months old which has resulted in babysitters and her daddy being the one home with her several times a week for over a year now.   Our parents have watched her for date nights and medical appointments.   It's not as though I have set up this world where only mommy will do.  However, somehow that has been and continues to be Isabella's motto for all of 2018:(.

I feel like I have tried EVERYTHING.  Making sure she knows I'm leaving.  Making sure she knows what's happening in advance (but not too far in advance).  Having distractions on hand.  Having familiar favorites on hand.  Consistent people babysitting.  Having a goodbye routine.  Giving her indicators of when I will be back in language she understands.  Giving her opportunities to spend time with adults who aren't me.  Social stories that explain what is going to happen.  Songs and stories about grown ups leaving and coming back.  NOTHING WORKS!

Interestingly while something like 25% of children suffer from separation anxiety, there is only ONE book written on the topic:

Fingers crossed there is a silver bullet in here somewhere!!!