When our last IUI failed this past January, my husband and I had to seriously examine our next steps. Over the course of the last few years we had discussed our openness to adoption and IVF. We are open to both. My first choice is adoption, but my husband has expressed a strong desire to go for IVF before seeking out adoption. Before this detour of our life began I would have tried to reason my way into having him see things MY way and I probably would have listened to what he had to say, but ultimately would still have been dead set on following the plan I thought was best.
Over the past year I began to recognize that I had some major control issues and have taken steps to rectify this. One of these steps is to follow my husband's lead more often and notably on the IF front. To that end, when the IVF grant we applied for this summer was not funded, I asked him how he wanted to proceed. He suggested we see what we can save over six months and see where we are at that point. Six months gives a recovering control freak like me a lot of time to analyze. During this time I have made great strides, great backslides, and found a place that still finds us without children or knowledge of what is around the corner but is filled with more peace (most of the time).
IF is not something I would have volunteered to endure, but I have to admit (in my mature moments) that there are things about this journey that I needed...
